Dear Mindy (I hope it is okay that I am so informal…if not, well maybe we can’t be friends…)
We should be friends. Yea, I know you’re famous, so everyone thinks they should be your friend. But seriously, I am not just saying this because I am a fan girl (I am but that is beside the point). I think you would benefit from our friendship too.
First, we are both 36 year old women. We were not just born in the same year, we were born in the same MONTH. I am only a mere 18 days older than you. So while we are the same age, I have 18 more days of wisdom that I could share with you. And you could tell people I was your MUCH older friend. I don’t care, as long as people say “Wow, she doesn’t look that old.” We could also talk about pop culture from when we were in high school and college and not have to figure out how old we each were, we’d know.
Second, I live in LA like you. So we could totally grab coffee together randomly. I even go to some of the same places you go…like the Grove. Okay, I know every upper middle class person in Los Angeles goes to the Grove. But I am willing to go with YOU. I mean if it isn’t at a super busy time, like after November 1st. Let’s not go to the Grove then, if we can help it e because it is kinda nuts with Christmas rush and I tend to want to hip check people when it is super crowded. But we could go early on a Friday and get breakfast at DuPar’s. Or not, whatever. On the flip side I am a hard working lady like yourself and have a kid so I am not going to be a needy friend that is trying to suck up all your free time. I am low maintenance. We could just grab lunch once every few months and you can send me texts when you see something funny that reminds you of some inside joke we have together and I will be happy.
Third, I am an attorney. I know initially that sounds boring as heck. But I have some crazy stories about my work that make you realize legal work is not all like Law and Order. Plus though no one ever wants to need a lawyer, everyone loves free advice from lawyers . PLUS if you decide you want to settle down, I know some older single attorneys that I could introduce you to.
Fourth, I have an amazing sense of humor. Yes, I am confident you would think so. Okay, maybe not totally confident but all my friends and family say I am funny. I think we must have similar senses of humor because I have found your books and show hilarious. So I think you would enjoy hanging out with me because I don’t take myself too seriously.
I am going to be honest though, I never really watched The Office. My husband loved the British version. I HATED it. Like wouldn’t be in the room when he watched it hated it so much. I watched a few episodes of the American version but the Michael Scott character made me so uncomfortable in that “oh God he isn’t going to do that is he?!” cringing kind of way, I couldn’t deal with it (I had/have similar feelings about George on Seinfeld). I have watched clips of your character on the Office because I am a fan girl.
So if you happen to have a google alert that finds this posting (I assume all famous people have google alerts for their name is mentioned online) feel free to shoot me a comment saying we could meet up.
On the other hand if you are like, this chick is obsessed with me, I better get a restraining order, don’t worry. I don’t have the energy or time to stalk anyone. I follow you on Instagram and that is about as stalky as I can muster. Plus having lived in LA for 14 years, I know the unspoken rule of all Angelenos that if you see a celebrity in public, no matter how much you like them you act like you don’t even see them. I might whisper to my husband as quietly as possible “There is Mindy Kaling.” and he would say “What?! I can’t hear you! Dude, why are you whispering in my ear like that?” And then I would say “Never mind! I’ll tell you when we get in the car! Ugh!” But that would be the extent of it.
Post script: My husband read this and basically said I copied your style in writing this essay. That is probably because I have done nothing the last 2 days but watch old episodes of The Mindy Project & read your new book because I have the flu. I am not trying to be a copy cat.